To Channing Tatum for my daughter’s birthday

The title of this post might confuse some. Channing Tatum’s latest movie, Magic Mike XXL, just dropped on DVD and Blu-ray. My oldest daughter is six. Six and a half, (she tells me the half is important.) However would the two cross paths?

Well, it turns out Monkey is an over-the-shoulder Facebooker, meaning I frequently catch her peeking over my shoulder when I scroll through my feed. Mostly it’s a curse given the adult nature of many Facebook posts, and I shoo her away as soon as possible.

When Magic Mike XXL was coming to theaters, a preview popped up. You might’ve caught it:

So this is what I suddenly hear from behind me:

“Mommy! Who is that? He’s… he’s really pretty Mommy. And he can dance.”

I turn around and her eyes are the size of saucers. We were only about 10 seconds into the clip, so of course I covered her eyes for the entire midsection of the preview, only letting her see the guys strut around shirtless at the end. But the damage was done.

“I wanna marry someone like that when I’m big.”

Monkey has her first crush. His name is “The Pretty Boy Who Dances Good,” aka Channing Tatum. And you know what? There are worse things. He’s in a committed relationship with a family. He seems to be a genuinely nice guy. And most importantly, he’s not Beiber.

So thank you Mr. Tatum, for being pretty, dancing well, and not being a tool. Although I don’t expect it, if by some miracle this post finds you, her birthday is in February. A message from you might make her seventh birthday the best one ever.

And as one parent of a little girl to another: good luck sir. They start early.

(Also, she picked out the featured image herself. You would not believe how long it took for her to choose her favorite.)

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